How to Forgive Bible Tips
How to forgive isn’t easy depending on the offense. A father or mother commits ritual molestation against their child. A murderer snuffs out the life of a loved one.
Could you forgive others for these dire offenses and move on? You might not face these extreme situations, but you feel real pain that hurts. It’s hard forgiving others who hurt you.
Jesus overlooked a suffered wrong and confessed, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). In the meantime, soldiers gamble for His clothes while blood trickles down the cross.
Love flows from Jesus to His accusers and murderers even while they mistreat Him beyond what anyone could imagine.
Jesus qualifies to carry a grudge.
Had he not forgiven His assailants, you and I could not enter heaven. Jesus would no longer be the unblemished sacrifice if unforgiveness consumed His heart.
How to Forgive: Learn the Reasons You Can’t Forgive
Why forgive others?
You and I hold on to offenses. We don’t want to forget the accompanying pain that sends us to our knees in torment. So up goes a protection shield to gain a measure of control. You believe that releasing the pain of the deep wound inflicted by a friend or loved one means they win.
A spirit of revenge says the other person has to pay for their actions. Pride steps in with words that you’ll look weak if you forgive. It seems unfair to let someone off the hook—to let them go scot-free when you carry scars of mistreatment.
Plus, your head seeks justice and your heart doesn’t want to feel trampled again. If you forgive someone, they might think it’s okay to treat you like dirt. You continue to entertain ideas of retaliation.
Continued: How to Forgive Tips
It can be just as hard to say “please forgive me” as it is to wipe the slate clean for another’s mistreatment. You learn how to forgive others by learning how to forgive yourself. It’s true. The act of forgiveness works both ways even though the sting is duller when you hurt someone else.
You seek forgiveness for your sins from the only one who can forgive, Jesus Christ. Forgiveness is for your benefit as the other person usually doesn’t know what they’ve done. If you expect an apology, you may be in for a long wait.
Instead, run to forgiveness. Incorporate Bible verses about forgiveness into your life to speed up the process.
- Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgives you, so you must forgive others.” (Colossians 3:13).
- Then Peter came to him and asked, “Sir, how often should I forgive a brother who sins against me? Seven times?” “No!” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven! (Matthew 18:21-22).
- Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.” (Ephesians 4:32)
I know. I can hear you say, “That’s just fine and dandy, but you don’t know what they did.”
No. I don’t, but I do know how important forgiveness is to your physical and spiritual well-being.
John Hopkins studies prove that forgiveness lowers blood pressure and cholesterol, reduces the risk of a heart attack, and decreases anxiety and stress. Those are reasons enough for me to cut people some slack.
Also, face your feelings head-on. If there’s an abundance of resentment in your heart, acknowledge it exists along with other emotions that get in the way of forgiveness. Letting go of hurt is a conscious decision. Holding onto dead wounds (they’re dead because they happened in the past) only leads to further heartache.
Clean out your spirit and heart by praying for the other person. By doing so, you release the offense to God. He’s strong enough to carry your burdens. Jesus already carried your sorrows so there’s no reason to pick them up again.
How to Forgive: Learn to Overlook Offenses
Part of the healing process, once you forgive someone, is to develop the good habit suggested in Proverbs 19:11. “A wise man restrains his anger and overlooks insults. This is to his credit.”
You may remember every detail of the incident because it’s part of your memory. However, you no longer dwell on the offense because doing so brings destruction to your body, mind, and soul.
Proverbs 12:16 states this a little differently, “A fool is quick-tempered. A wise man stays cool when insulted.” Unforgiveness grows deep roots that become harder to extract the longer you let offenses keep you bound. As you propagate Christian love towards everyone you meet, it’s less likely for insults to take root. Those words won’t even penetrate your heart. They bounce off you like water on a duck’s back.
Spiritual Effects of Unforgiveness: Forgiving and Moving On
Will you never feel the pain of betrayal again? Not likely. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you continue that relationship.
If the offense came through a spouse or loved one, it’s harder to move on when you see them every day. The challenge then becomes how willing are you to obey God when Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, “Your heavenly Father will forgive you if you forgive those who sin against you; but if you refuse to forgive them, he will not forgive you.”
Jesus states this after He gives the disciples the Lord’s Prayer. In this context, unforgiveness hinders or stops answers to prayer.
It’s a tall order, to forgive, but one I try to obey. I had so much trouble with unforgiveness that in prayer God told me, “You stack people up in your heart like dead men’s bones.” I cried—that didn’t sound good and I knew just what He meant. So, I work on my Christian heart knowing it’s a specific weakness that could become a stronghold.
So, why is it good to forgive others?
In learning how to forgive and move on, I use the how to forgive someone Bible tips I mentioned. Likewise, I remember that God forgives me and offers His grace when I mess up. If He can do that for me, I can certainly try to do the same for others. His love for me is why I accept spiritual corrections so I go higher with Him.