Hearing and Listening to Others With Faith
No one thinks about hearing and listening to others until you face problems or share joys. Then, sharing with someone what’s on your heart is of paramount importance. Doing so is especially significant when you want a Christian listener to hear with faith.
In the past, sometimes I’d formulate my next words in my head instead of shutting up and listening to the other person. I was more more interested in what I had to say and interrupted them before they finished. Nowadays, I put to practice this scripture on listening more than speaking in James 1:19.
Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving].
If you analyze what Jesus said, He didn’t speak unnecessary words. He listened more than He spoke and heard with faith. He told us how He chose His words in John 12:49.
For I have never spoken on My own initiative or authority, but the Father Himself who sent Me has given Me a commandment regarding what to say and what to speak.
From a Christian perspective, how can you be a better listener and connect with other human beings like Jesus did? The short sermon on listening to others provides valuable tips.
Hearing and Listening to Others: Let Compassion Lead You
When someone pours out their heart to you, they paint a picture of what’s going on inside. Listen for clues as to whether they want answers or need a sounding board. Your compassionate demeanor opens the door for them to trust you with personal information.
Asking genuine questions is what ministers to them the most. By not providing opinions, you can gently and compassionately guide their thoughts so they figure out solutions to their problems. Open-ended questions are better than ones that require a yes or no answer.
As they release their emotions, they will remember your expressions of care, concern, kindness, and gentleness. Your calmness will bring them a measure of peace.
Hearing and Listening to Others: Exercise Patience
Your goal as a good listener is to draw out what’s buried deep inside people as Jesus did.
Proverbs 20:5
A plan (motive, wise counsel) in the heart of a man is like water in a deep well, But a man of understanding draws it out.
Jesus took time with each person and didn’t hurry them along to get on with His full schedule. By hearing and listening to others, He affirmed their importance. In today’s world, that means you don’t stop to answer your smartphone which ends the conversation abruptly. If you do, that’s a clear indicator you aren’t interested in the other person.
Should you have a pressing appointment, you can explain your situation and offer to call them on a certain day and time. Otherwise, give them your full attention and patiently listen with both ears until they stop talking. Neither do you interrupt them nor judge what they say.
Qualities of a Good Listener
- Keep eye contact: If you focus your eyes on everything but the person, they may not trust you and will stop talking. It’s obvious that your attention is divided.
- Have a relaxed posture: Most people have trouble sharing what’s on their hearts. If you look comfortable listening to them, it opens up the communication lines so they can talk more freely.
- Paraphrase what they say: You don’t want to sound like a parrot but it’s okay to let them know you heard and understood what they said. By doing so, you encourage the other person.
- Avoid daydreaming: It’s easy to get distracted if you don’t see the other person as a priority. Shut down internal conversations that disengage you from listening.
- Accept that people may want to vent: You help someone when they can confidently express their feelings. Hearing themselves speak helps them sort out their feelings.
- Be comfortable with silence: It’s normal to want to jump in to fill awkward lapses of quiet pauses. Don’t do it. Your conversation partner may be contemplating what else they want to share. Their facial gestures will let you know when to respond.
- Avoid being right: Put duct tape over your mouth if you have to but never argue with someone else about what they feel. Your job is to understand not to disagree. Remember: Listeners aren’t fixers.
The Importance of Being a Good Listener
An active listener looks for ways to express the right words or say nothing at all. When you care about others, you want people to find solutions on their own. Listeners help sustain others through difficulties.
Hearing and listening to others involves watching for non-verbal clues that communicate their thoughts. Do they look bored or irritated? Do their voice tone and facial expressions point to what they’re feeling?
Both verbal and non-verbal communication help you understand another person’s deepest needs. You may want to empathize by giving them accounts of your life and spiritual experiences. What they need the most is for you to affirm their importance rather than present solutions to problems.
Every listener misses the mark. You can improve your listening skills after conversations by mentally rehashing what was said and practicing using words that work. Should you keep quiet, ask more questions, or say fewer words?
A good listener, especially a Christian, sees listening as another opportunity to express God’s neverending love for people. How a Christian listens to others indicates how well they hear God and His Word. If you spend time in God’s Word often, your responses will be full of God’s grace. His grace is what you hear when God listens to you.
Therefore, your ears and your heart are more important than your mouth. When hearing and listening to others, you hear God’s voice first before you utter the first word, stay silent, or offer a hug. None of us master the art of listening but it’s important to keep trying.