Characteristics of Genuine Love We All Want
One word aptly summarizes the characteristics of genuine love.
Unmistakable.
Saint Paul in I Corinthians 13, purposely wrote a letter to the Corinthians about love. What did the Corinth congregants do in broad daylight causing Paul concern? Did they pull each other’s hair, call others names, and throw sandals?
Loving others isn’t easy. One day a neighbor dug up expensive groundcover I planted on a shared bank between our homes mistaking the plants for weeds. Really? A master gardener couldn’t tell the difference!
On that particular day, I couldn’t confirm “my love is genuine” because anger overtook my heart. Genuine love bypassed me but kept my mouth shut.
Does genuine love have a certain look? Do others identify love in you and me by what they see etched on our faces? What is genuine love?
Characteristics of Genuine Love Isn’t What Our Furry Friends Offer
Do you turn to a pet for unconditional love while stuffing your mouth with chocolate to soothe your growing anger about life?
Maybe you looked into your cat’s beautiful eyes and believed it would fill the gaping hole in your heart. As experience dictates, my cats resting from a lofty perch purring contentedly wanted treats from me and nothing more.
You and I enjoy dog slobbers and tail wags. But Winston Churchill puts these pet exhibitions into perspective.
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
I wouldn’t exchange a dog or cat for a pig but there’s a fundamental truth they teach us about genuine love.
Dogs and cats want something in exchange for their adorable, loving behavior. In contrast, genuine love doesn’t want or need repayment.
Characteristics of Genuine Love: Consider Paul
A cat or dog’s affection is not what Apostle Paul writes about. His first-hand knowledge about love qualifies him as an authority on this specific virtue. He survives a shipwreck, beatings, arrests, imprisonments, and ongoing plots to kill him. Regardless of the circumstance, he brings the Gospel to life for others. He didn’t care if anyone loved him or not.
His love epistle focuses on the Corinthians’ less-than-stellar love walk. Love is not at the forefront of their actions. Paul wants believers to downplay hypocrisy and let love be heartfelt.
Paul tells us what love looks like.
I Timothy 1:5 (MSG)
The whole point of what we’re urging is simply love—love uncontaminated by self-interest and counterfeit faith, a life open to God.
To walk in love with others means letting the Holy Spirit cleanse our faith to reach more people for Him. Paul didn’t kid himself about living in a body that wants to sin. He accepted God’s grace but Jesus was His love motivator. He knew that loving others magnifies God.
Love has specific qualities.
Characteristics of Genuine Love
- It’s Patient
Animals nearly perform cartwheels for our attention. On the other hand, the God kind of love originates from an unselfish desire to extend tenderness to others without any natural inclination to do so. You put up with imperfections, decide not to retaliate, and give others space to breathe. Remaining peaceful, and yes patient, are hallmarks of genuine love.
Even so, you don’t give others a calling card to stomp all over you. Your responses aren’t negative in the face of someone’s bad behavior. You stay gentle and sweet.
A Christian majoring in love patiently takes on the excellent character of Jesus. And without fail when learning how to love others, God puts irritating people around us. He wants you and me to see what’s inside us. Yikes!
- It’s Kind
Menacing thoughts such as, “Well, they are a piece of work,” should not determine how you treat others. Become an expert at identifying little zingers popping into your conscience when someone nasty enters your space. Dismiss those thoughts immediately. Learn to practice kindness at home until it becomes a habit. Routinely overlook annoying weaknesses of family members (because someone ignores yours).
Apostle Paul parallels how a person loves to their union with God. In today’s terminology, he would say, “God and His children should be as harmonious as mac and cheese.”
Characteristics of Genuine Love in the Bible
The love chapter in I Corinthians 13 provides these love attributes in addition to patience and kindness.
Love never gives up.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.Doesn’t have a swelled head,Love cares more for others than for self.
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,Love doesn’t strut,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
You enjoy putting others before you even when it’s uncomfortable. With the God kind of love in your heart, the world sees what’s inside. But first, it must be there! A dressed-up version of love, anything other than the real thing, comes off as a cheap imitation.
Paul instructs the Corinthians to offer love to everyone. As you make progress, you become a person rooted and grounded in love. When a spiteful and disgusting person crosses your path, genuine love means you smile without a trace of malice in your heart.
What Is Genuine Love?
Romans 12:9-13
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
It takes little effort to read those words but enormous energy to put them into practice. That’s why Paul never stopped pointing out in the book of Romans the importance of becoming an acceptable offering. On our worst days, we struggle with how to love others but the Holy Spirit never gives up sanctifying believers.
He helps us love God the Father, His Son, and others. As the 1960s Christian hymn states, “They will know we are Christians by our love.” Characteristics of genuine love stand out in the crowd.