15 Christian Marriage Tips To Add Sizzle
No one wants to hear Christian marriage tips on their wedding day. Newlyweds agree to climb out of pits together and only open doors to happiness.
And, they don’t want Christian marriage advice. But as time passes, real life steps in and makes your more beautiful-than-snowflakes marriage feel less delightful. If you sense your covenant union is in trouble, here are 15 Christian marriage tips to wake up your marriage.
Christian Marriage Tips: Ditch the Who Done-It List
Do your spouse’s past failures float to your conscience when an argument heats up? If you express those feelings, hearts shut down faster than an animal trap. Instead, maximize your marriage’s potential by demonstrating love in all you do and say.
Colossians 3:13-14 (MSG)
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
This scripture describes what love is and helps define a successful godly marriage.
I Corinthians 13:4-5 (emphasis mine)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Dragging out old sins (long repented of) into the open crushes a relationship and destroys intimacy.
God doesn’t throw old sins in your face every time you mess up. Likewise, He doesn’t want us nagging each other about past sins.
Hold Your Tongue
Have you heard, Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me?
Well, it isn’t true.
Words do hurt and break the spirit. It’s tempting to gouge your spouse with spiteful and hurtful words when you arrive at cross purposes. We justify our actions by saying, “You just make me so mad because you never change” or “Why don’t you listen when I tell you something.”
An untamed tongue tears down your marriage word by word. When the flesh rises up to defend itself, the spirit part of you isn’t in control.
Proverbs 10:19 – Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.
Proverbs 12:18-19 –The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
Minister to Your Spouse
Christian marriages have a heavenly aroma when the husband and wife think more highly of their mate than themselves. There’s a sweet bonus. Being one in Christ enables you to serve others better.
These scriptures shed light on how to think of others.
Proverbs 3:27
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due [its rightful recipients], When it is in your power to do it.
Philippians 2:4
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
By validating each other’s worth, both of you feel loved and accepted. Caring acts help to cement your blossoming relationship.
Here’s a glaring truth.
Neither of you is as bad as the other thinks.
Christian Marriage Tips: Pray Together
In a list of Christian marriage tips, this one is very important. Life is a cycle of chores/hobbies, 9-5- jobs, and sleep. Sometimes prayer slides to the bottom.
A couple can reconnect spiritually when praying by holding hands, worshipping God, and telling Him about their day or night.
Praying keeps both of you humble as you serve God together. Prayer strengthens your marriage bond by increasing intimacy to receive God’s grace and hope to face life and make dreams a reality.
Increase Intimacy
A husband and wife create intimacy by bonding emotionally and spiritually throughout the day to become one physically.
Our words and actions communicate how we really feel about each other. It’s not a good decision to give compliments to get something back. Your love for each other is heartfelt and genuine when you’re both sounding boards to release concerns and stresses. Doing this keeps your relationship from getting chilly.
Other ways to enhance intimacy are to hug, plant pecks on the cheek, relax in a hot tub together, or read romantic poetry.
Improve Communication Skills
To implement Christian marriage tips, you need to talk. Talking improves your marriage and helps make it thrive. That’s true when you communicate effectively.
Imagine this scenario. Your husband asks “When’s dinner?” Without saying so, he wants to work on the bench he’s making for you. You silently think, “Am I his slave to command at will?” and ignore his question.
Dinner doesn’t go well because the walls go up and communication stops. Misunderstandings like this happen all the time.
Cement your relationship by making every word crystal clear that comes out of your mouth. In the above example, the husband could have said, “Do I have time to work on the bench before dinner?” And the wife could refrain from jumping to conclusions.
When discussing sensitive subjects, extend tenderness to each other. You can touch a shoulder before you begin the conversation and decide beforehand neither of you will resort to arguing.
Likewise, no one should discuss important issues when tired or preoccupied. It’s better to wait until both of you are relaxed and can focus on each other.
As always, never leave God out of your conversations. Keep His purposes for your marriage uppermost in your mind before, during, and after any discussion.
The 7th of 15 Christian Marriage Tips Is To Develop Perseverance
Over time, it can feel like you push your marriage uphill with your nose. What I’m about to say isn’t super, secret news but it’s important.
Christian couples grow a lasting marriage by not giving up. Walking alongside each other isn’t always pleasant but one thing’s for sure.
Amos 3:3 – Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (KJV)
To be in lockstep spiritually, a couple must stay in harmony physically and mentally. To finish well in a Christian marriage, a core agreement must undergird your marriage. This scripture represents one of the top biblical keys to a successful marriage.
Acts 20:24 – But my life means nothing to me. My only goal is to finish the race. I want to complete the work the Lord Jesus has given me. He wants me to tell others about the good news of God’s grace.
Eliminate Boredom
Predictability and security in a Christian marriage help each spouse know what to expect from each other. Do you ever go through the motions of being married and feel detached? That’s when marital boredom can set in.
Dead marriages are dull, dull, and dull.
When you succumb to boredom, romantic rendezvous that once elevated your pulses become mere memories. For a while, you can rehash those exciting days and stoke the fire between you. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having regular romantic pursuits to keep the thrill of the chase alive.
But boredom still happens. The Bible provides sound advice when you don’t know what to do.
Be content with your mate IN ALL SEASONS and beware of little foxes spoiling the vine. Instead, capture small thoughts laden with envy, greed, and anger, and other emotions that undermine a marriage.
Solomon 2:15
[My heart was touched and I fervently sang to him my desire] Take for us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards [of our love], for our vineyards are in blossom.
To eliminate boredom, be on the lookout for small things that can turn into larger issues. Keep your romance revved up, live boldly, don’t accept average, dream big dreams and make them happen.
Take Care of the Dirt
Maintaining good personal hygiene means staying attractive for your spouse. Women—don’t fall into the habit of thinking hairy legs and armpits are okay. Men—change your socks and take showers regularly or unpleasant odors will follow you but not your wife.
Cleanliness doesn’t begin and end with the body. Sloppiness is off-putting. Your home and vehicles don’t need to be spotless but you can keep them tidy inside and out. Overlooking the tiniest details can turn off couples and divide them.
Christian Marriage Tips: Put Money in Its Place
To maximize Christian marriage tips like this one, a couple realizes everything they have belongs to God to glorify Him. They are mindful stewards of what He entrusts to us.
Some couples keep separate banking accounts to pass their inheritances to biological children. Weigh the advantages and disadvantages to find the best way to maintain your finances without eroding trust.
The logical person in charge of finances is the person with a natural inclination for numbers and wisdom. That individual knows how to keep good records, pay off credit cards each month, and plans ahead to cover unexpected expenses.
A savings account should cover a minimum of 6 months’ worth of expenses. That’s the least amount to save. It’s better to set aside 20% of your income each month. Furthermore, be on the same page when it comes to tithing to avoid arguments.
Other recommended practices are to avoid getting in debt or become debt-free as soon as possible. Don’t overspend, and avoid buying things you don’t need which increases financial pressure. Above all, make a budget and stick to it by tracking expenses regularly.
Money has a rightful place in a marriage but it shouldn’t create disharmony. If it does, it’s ruling your household.
Kibosh In-Law Interference
As soon as an in-law causes friction in your marriage, stop it. The blood relative should correct the offending family member and not leave the responsibility to the other mate.
Relatives shouldn’t stop by unannounced, bring supper every other day, or interrupt your family schedule. Of course, there are exceptions but when too-frequent visits cause disagreements then it’s time to end the interference by setting boundaries.
Give Attention to Your Spouse AND ONLY THEM
Of all the Christian marriage tips, this one when ignored causes the most friction. Oglers (both men and women) stop in their tracks and take long looks while their partner watches in shame and disbelief.
If you’re an ogler, you do a great disservice to your mate. You dishonor who they are and you certainly don’t exemplify Jesus Christ who you proclaim to serve.
This behavior breaks down your marital covenant. satan will convince you that everyone else “looks” so what’s the big deal? Just call it what it is—lust. There are quick glances to admire a physically beautiful person and then there are long, rubberneck gazes.
Thankfully, Jesus died for oglers. Even so, He wants us to make a covenant with our eyes as Job did.
Job 31:1 – I made an agreement with my eyes. I promised not to look at a young woman with impure thoughts.
Your eyes fall in line with whatever you train your heart and mind to do.
Knock Down Pride When It Raises Its Ugly Head
Pride has a sleazy beginning. It’s the reason God threw satan out of heaven. Pride, an evil trait, deceives the heart so you blame everyone else for your hubris.
If pride rules either mate, they forget about grace, the blood of Jesus, and their Savior. So to keep pride at bay, a husband or wife must identify it in each other. For example, prideful people crave attention, stray from God, and see others as less important.
Listen to the words your mate speaks. They are clear indicators of what’s in their heart, where pride resides. Make quick corrections because pride not only overtakes your heart but your spirit and leads to troubled marriages.
Carve Out Time for Two
Take a radical stance to improve your marriage.
Write down on slips of paper anything your spouse does that drives you crazy without revealing what it is. Then, start a bonfire, throw your grievances into the fire, and dine on S’mores.
Schedule time together “for two.” Take an exercise or cooking class together, go ballroom dancing or feed ducks at a pond. Plan a surprise weekend away or rescue a furry friend to join your household.
Take your relationship deeper. To do that, keep spontaneity at the heart of your romance and make sure to include activities you both like.
Christian Marriage Tips Number 15
In a fairytale, princes and princesses can still have problems. Your Christian marriage involves more than sitting on a bench together whistling Amazing Grace (although you might want to try that).
Like anyone else, Christian couples encounter heartaches. They may lose a child, succumb to a home foreclosure, or experience some type of unfaithfulness. Some days will be downright difficult.
So brace yourself for good and bad times without letting fear rule your circumstances. All in all, good days outweigh bad ones. Keep joy in your marriage by staying at peace with God and each other no matter what happens.
These 15 Christian marriage tips help keep you moving closer to God. He’s a NOW God and a forward-thinker—He’s the perfect, live-in marriage counselor and helps couples implement keys to a successful marriage.